How do I ask for deodorant?
I grew up very active. I was always dancing or doing gymnastics or running or hiking… you name it. I also went through puberty really early. Remember when you were in 4th grade and there was that one girl who was a little more developed? That girl who started wearing a training bra and it was ALL anybody could talk about? I was that girl. I also started being able to produce a quantity of sweat that had a foul odor when I was in about 5th grade. I noticed it, and would always just insecurely keep my arms down so as not to unleash the monster. But, in gymnastics you can’t always hide your arms, and your unruly stench. I remember one day practicing “sticking it” while waiting in line to perform our routine. I lifted my arms and the girl next to me gave me a look and made a snide comment about how it smelled.
It was at that moment I knew my next project. I needed now to work up the courage to ask my mom to buy me deodorant. After already asking my mom to purchase training bras (which was maybe the most embarrassing experience of my life at the time) I was ready for the next challenge. Of course, my mom made it normal and we smelled all the different kinds of deodorant at the store; BUT gaining the confidence to admit to my mom that her little girl had grown up enough and needed deodorant was…a thing. And no, I don’t even want to talk about razors.
Was I supposed to like that?
My first real kiss (like not a truth or dare, or a peck-and-run kind of kiss), was my Junior year of high school. It was with by boyfriend at the time, lets call him Joe. Anyways, Joe came over to my house. We had been very close the whole night. He would put his forehead on mine, and just talk to me with our heads connected. Looking back, I think that’s fucking weird, but I guess at the time I was cool with it. Definitely nervous he was going to go in for a kiss, which he eventually did later that night outside of my house. I was walking him to his car and he said “I just have to try this” and he leaned in and kissed me. I was so shocked that it had happened (which really is a theme in my life to come), that I hardly knew that it happened. I went inside and though my heart was racing and I kind of wanted it to happen again, I also found it somewhat odd that humans enjoy putting their mouths together and moving their lips. Objectively it’s strange. I always think of the first humans to kiss. How both of them must have been extremely perplexed by their actions. Anyways, I left the situation giddy and excited but also thinking a little like “was I supposed to like that?”
Everybody stopped dancing except for me
So, my freshman year of high school I was cast as a lead dancer in the school play. I went to a school with a really competitive drama department, and getting such a role was a decent honor. During the shows we came out for bows. We were in lines (I was front and center of cast of 80), and we had a choreographed dance that led into a freestyle type dance. Somehow I got too into it, and way too into my own head, and I didn’t realize that everybody had exited the stage but me. I was the only one on stage and I was dancing front and center and really, truly, going for it. I finally opened my eyes or work up from whatever odd trance I was in and quickly ran off stage. Everybody was laughing at me, and our director came up to me dying of laughter.
I was never cast in a lead dance part again. 🙂 Which by the way, I’m super chill about.